Teens & Youth

More than 1 in 10 teens experience physical violence in their dating relationships. Many more experience emotional or psychological abuse from their dates or partners.

Teen dating violence (TDV) is a type of intimate partner violence. It occurs between two people in a close relationship, and includes four types of behavior:

• Physical violence is when a person hurts or tries to hurt a partner by hitting, kicking, or using another type of physical force.
• Sexual violence is forcing or attempting to force a partner to take part in a sex act, sexual touching, or a non-physical sexual event (e.g., sexting) when the partner does not or cannot consent.
• Psychological aggression is the use of verbal and non-verbal communication with the intent to harm another person mentally or emotionally and/or exert control over another person.
• Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted attention and contact by a partner that causes fear or concern for one’s own safety or the safety of someone close to the victim.

Dating violence can take place in person or electronically, such as repeated texting or posting sexual pictures of a partner online without consent. Unhealthy relationships can start early and last a lifetime. Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name-calling, are a “normal” part of a relationship—but these behaviors can become abusive and develop into serious forms of violence. However, many teens do not report unhealthy behaviors because they are afraid to tell family and friends.

A healthy relationship does not include pressure to have sex, does not make sex hurt, does not make sex humiliating. Going on a date does not give either person the right to force or expect sex from the other and certainly does not give anyone the right to rape anyone, regardless of the level of intoxication or drug use of either person.

Sexual violence is any unwanted sexual contact or sexual attention committed by force, threats, bribes, manipulation, pressure, tricks, or violence.

It is not your fault. It doesn’t matter whether you are dating, in a relationship, have said ‘yes’ before or earlier in the activity, if you then say ‘no’ and you are forced into sexual contact against your will, it is a sexual assault.

Rape or sexual violence is never your fault, even if you are intoxicated.

Alcohol is the most readily available date rape drug. Sometimes other odorless and tasteless illegal drugs or prescription drugs may be added to the alcohol you are drinking and cause your judgment, ability to resist, or even ability to stay awake or conscious to be dramatically affected.

You may have been a victim of sexual violence while you are under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs if you:

• Have a gut feeling you had sex but can’t remember clearly what happened
• Remember part of the night, but not much else afterward
• Feel like you were or still are a whole lot more drunk or affected than you normally would be by the amount of alcohol or drugs you consumed
• Regardless of underage drinking or other illegal activity, if you decide to report a sexual assault to law enforcement, they will investigate only (per Penal Code 13823.11) the crime you are reporting.

Even if you do not want to report sexual assault or rape to law enforcement, for your own health and safety, we urge you to get medical treatment for possible sexually transmitted diseases, injuries or potential pregnancy.

Please call the CNVC 24-hour Crisis Line right away if you believe you were a victim of sexual violence while under the influence: 209-533-3401.

Our crisis line is anonymous. You do not have to give your name to talk about your situation.